I am sad that I spent so much time obsessed with my weight and my heart goes out to every young girl who hates her body because I know what it feels like. I think that the important thing is that you are healthy, you love yourself (because you were created for a plan and purpose and God thinks you are absolutely beautiful the way you are) and you take care of yourself.
I will admit this is a daily struggle and I hope that one day I will feel this way about myself. I think that recently I got to a point where I felt like "I will never be thin or fit. This is just how I am I guess Ill deal with it". Now you may think that is a good thing and that I was "coming to terms" with the truth. But I am not content with that attitude. I CAN be healthy and I honestly believe I can be thinner and I want to at least try.
I already eat healthy and have cut out most junk in my life (I will admit, I ate the most delicious vegan brownie yesterday and it was amazing) and I have lost weight slowly and definitely feel better but I know there is more I can do. I have always always always hated working out. I hate jogging and running more than anything BUT I believe working out is very important for your body and for your mind so I am committing to having more cardio in my life. I have been jogging at least once a day and have started the 30 Day Shred again (which I have never made past day 4 due to laziness).
Now, I do have an addictive, over the top personality (if you havent figured out yet) which is why I went from a junk food addict to a vegan in less than a year and why I went from eating out multiple times a day (places like: Mcdonalds and Taco Bell) to only eating out a couple times a month (at a healthy restaurant) and I cook every night.
So I am hoping that I will really get into working out and make it a habit and love it but I am also going to try to not become to obsessed (but really, that wouldnt be the worst thing either).
Here is the bottom line (since I have rambled too much).
I want to be healthy.
I want to be active.
I want to be confident.
I want to feel beautiful.
And I want to fit in the clothes I want and feel good.
Its really not about being "skinny". Its about feeling good and being healthy.
(But it would be kinda nice to be skinny too).